And unfortunately, I don't drink.
My Christmas Eve was the longest night I've experienced in quite some time and I wish it had been because of excitement for Christmas morning!
I woke up about 330 full of nameless dread. This made it a challenge of willpower to get up and use the bathroom. Fortunately, nothing ate me. I went back to sleep and found myself being chased down a wooded path by something. I entered a cabin, where I felt safe, until a big rig crashed outside and the dead driver became a zombie. It went downhill from there until I woke again, this time about 530.
This was my Hour of the Wolf.
I laid awake for a little over half an hour while my mind refused to let go of the fear and conjured up multiple unlikely but really possible scenarios to keep me awake and knotted up.
With some fervent prayer, I was finally able to sleep again and now Christmas morning awaits!
Friday, December 25, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Awakening, Part 1
Itch! Itch!
Right there!
I squirmed around, trying vainly to reach it or rub up against something, but the warm darkness which had comforted and kept me as long as I could remember was now serving only to keep me from relief. I squirmed again while the itch persisted. If anything, it was growing worse and now I began to notice an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach. I wanted out, now!
I stretched, and there was a sharp crack from all around me. I paused in shock and shivered at the breath of cold! For a moment, I wanted to stay in my warm darkness, but the itch stayed, and the pangs grew worse. I stretched again and flexed my claws to try and gain purchase on my surroundings. I scratched insistently at whatever was within reach, but the cracks didn't seem to be getting any wider. And that itch!
I flexed my claws again and roared in frustration and the wall of my womb turned prison suddenly dissolved into icy wind and light, bright light! I sprawled open, and flailed all four limbs wildly. I hadn't expected it to come apart so quickly! Or quite so completely! A quiet hissing sound startled me then and I rolled clumsily onto my belly, trying to get my feet under me and get away. I roared again, and a wet mist tickled my nose while the hissing sound started again right under my head! I tried to scrabble away from the frightening noise and finally became aware of my eyes. I pried them open against a stickiness that threatened to hold them shut.
Then, for a moment, I forgot the itch, the cold, and even the hunger. Sight was entirely new to me, and the blurry blobs of light and brighter light in every direction held me spellbound, particularly when continued blinking finally begin to bring them into some understanding. As my skin already told me, everything out here was colder. And it was so big! I swung my head back and forth, somewhat weakly at first, to try and take in all of this new, large room and a flash of color caught my eye.
Right there!
I squirmed around, trying vainly to reach it or rub up against something, but the warm darkness which had comforted and kept me as long as I could remember was now serving only to keep me from relief. I squirmed again while the itch persisted. If anything, it was growing worse and now I began to notice an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach. I wanted out, now!
I stretched, and there was a sharp crack from all around me. I paused in shock and shivered at the breath of cold! For a moment, I wanted to stay in my warm darkness, but the itch stayed, and the pangs grew worse. I stretched again and flexed my claws to try and gain purchase on my surroundings. I scratched insistently at whatever was within reach, but the cracks didn't seem to be getting any wider. And that itch!
I flexed my claws again and roared in frustration and the wall of my womb turned prison suddenly dissolved into icy wind and light, bright light! I sprawled open, and flailed all four limbs wildly. I hadn't expected it to come apart so quickly! Or quite so completely! A quiet hissing sound startled me then and I rolled clumsily onto my belly, trying to get my feet under me and get away. I roared again, and a wet mist tickled my nose while the hissing sound started again right under my head! I tried to scrabble away from the frightening noise and finally became aware of my eyes. I pried them open against a stickiness that threatened to hold them shut.
Then, for a moment, I forgot the itch, the cold, and even the hunger. Sight was entirely new to me, and the blurry blobs of light and brighter light in every direction held me spellbound, particularly when continued blinking finally begin to bring them into some understanding. As my skin already told me, everything out here was colder. And it was so big! I swung my head back and forth, somewhat weakly at first, to try and take in all of this new, large room and a flash of color caught my eye.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
More than the end of the weekend
I think I've really been missing out on past Sundays.
This is the first time in a long time that I've gotten up at a decent hour. Read a little scripture, went to my morning meeting, ate some lunch, played some hymns (well, if you use the term "played" loosely) on the piano, went to church, ate some food and found some ways to buoy people up a little while chatting with each other, watched the First Presidency Christmas Devotional, and now I'm writing about my Sunday.
That's quite the sentence. And isn't entirely the best composed sentence in the world. But it's mostly accurate. And more or less gets the point across.
And now I can be a "treasure trove of linguistic anomalies."
Back to my main point.
Sunday is a fantastic day! Ever since I decided I wouldn't do homework on Sunday (when I was in school) and keep myself from as many other issues of day to day life on earth as possible, it's become something of a refuge. Unless I let some of those cares and issues come into life on this day.
Which made me realize what a haven from unpleasantness a home can be, if I let it.
This is the first time in a long time that I've gotten up at a decent hour. Read a little scripture, went to my morning meeting, ate some lunch, played some hymns (well, if you use the term "played" loosely) on the piano, went to church, ate some food and found some ways to buoy people up a little while chatting with each other, watched the First Presidency Christmas Devotional, and now I'm writing about my Sunday.
That's quite the sentence. And isn't entirely the best composed sentence in the world. But it's mostly accurate. And more or less gets the point across.
And now I can be a "treasure trove of linguistic anomalies."
Back to my main point.
Sunday is a fantastic day! Ever since I decided I wouldn't do homework on Sunday (when I was in school) and keep myself from as many other issues of day to day life on earth as possible, it's become something of a refuge. Unless I let some of those cares and issues come into life on this day.
Which made me realize what a haven from unpleasantness a home can be, if I let it.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Semi-immediate progenitors
I love that I have two grandmas! It's SO great!
It's true I don't remember too much about Grandma (Dad's mom), but I know she's amazing (after all, she had four incredible kids, one of whom is my father! And Grandpa married her, so... :). I can't remember much of what she looked like (well, maybe, but my image is colored by pictures I've seen of her.
I do remember watching Dark Crystal while laying on her bed. I remember playing Frogger at her house. I remember always being excited to visit even though it was a 2 and a half hour drive (55 mph speed limits back then). I remember that there was a piper at the cemetery where she was buried. I was in the back of our red minivan looking out the window at the piper while everyone was over at Grandma's graveside service. I'm not really sure why I was in the car during that, but...
I seem to remember fog or mist, but I might be conjuring that one up because of the cemetery and the piper. It is pretty atmospheric, hey?
I remember a lot more about Grandma (mom's mom), obviously, I suppose, since she lived only a few minutes away most of my life and she's still around. She let us boys sleep on her trampoline more than once! :)
The greatest memory I have of her, though, is when I asked to borrow her dining room for a dinner before a formal high school dance I went to (I think it was Senior Ball). All I did was ask to borrow the dining room...
Well, when we arrive, we enter to see candlelight glowing from the table, hear classical music playing from the stereo, and her second best china set out! It was amazing and far above and beyond the call of duty! I loved it and will forever remember her generosity in that!
Although it was pretty fun a few months back to try and figure out where Spring Hill was on our atlas...
It's true I don't remember too much about Grandma (Dad's mom), but I know she's amazing (after all, she had four incredible kids, one of whom is my father! And Grandpa married her, so... :). I can't remember much of what she looked like (well, maybe, but my image is colored by pictures I've seen of her.
I do remember watching Dark Crystal while laying on her bed. I remember playing Frogger at her house. I remember always being excited to visit even though it was a 2 and a half hour drive (55 mph speed limits back then). I remember that there was a piper at the cemetery where she was buried. I was in the back of our red minivan looking out the window at the piper while everyone was over at Grandma's graveside service. I'm not really sure why I was in the car during that, but...
I seem to remember fog or mist, but I might be conjuring that one up because of the cemetery and the piper. It is pretty atmospheric, hey?
I remember a lot more about Grandma (mom's mom), obviously, I suppose, since she lived only a few minutes away most of my life and she's still around. She let us boys sleep on her trampoline more than once! :)
The greatest memory I have of her, though, is when I asked to borrow her dining room for a dinner before a formal high school dance I went to (I think it was Senior Ball). All I did was ask to borrow the dining room...
Well, when we arrive, we enter to see candlelight glowing from the table, hear classical music playing from the stereo, and her second best china set out! It was amazing and far above and beyond the call of duty! I loved it and will forever remember her generosity in that!
Although it was pretty fun a few months back to try and figure out where Spring Hill was on our atlas...
Thursday, December 3, 2009
In Training
Trains.
What is it about trains that are so cool? Maybe it's the possibility of getting off in Narnia. Or maybe the chance that you can walk through a wall to Platform 9 and 3/4...
But they must have been cool before that, or why would those stories have done that? I've never really ridden on a train, but I believe I would quite enjoy the trip!
Especially if it lets me off in Narnia.
What is it about trains that are so cool? Maybe it's the possibility of getting off in Narnia. Or maybe the chance that you can walk through a wall to Platform 9 and 3/4...
But they must have been cool before that, or why would those stories have done that? I've never really ridden on a train, but I believe I would quite enjoy the trip!
Especially if it lets me off in Narnia.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Love and longing
Tonight I steal my own words from a friend's Facebook page. She's drawn out some amazing words by confusing me with her favorite movie character! It's a lot of fun!
My heart,
The breath caught in my throat as I read your letter and tears of longing threatened to overwhelm me, though I was loathe to reveal them among such as currently surround me.
To feel your head upon my shoulder as I embrace you with the warmth of spring while our fingers dance together the song of our dreams.
Then to ride apart, our fingertips a stolen kiss of contact from outstretched arms while stallion and mare race on beneath silver and midnight amid the sea of summer fields and floral jewels.
Then home, where autumn fire warms us, and you read of what you hope and cherish. Our hands once more united, at rest upon our laps and silver moon shines bright upon the snow while softly plays, once more, our song.
I hope it will not be long, my love.
Yours, forever and always...
Whoever you prove to be.
My heart,
The breath caught in my throat as I read your letter and tears of longing threatened to overwhelm me, though I was loathe to reveal them among such as currently surround me.
To feel your head upon my shoulder as I embrace you with the warmth of spring while our fingers dance together the song of our dreams.
Then to ride apart, our fingertips a stolen kiss of contact from outstretched arms while stallion and mare race on beneath silver and midnight amid the sea of summer fields and floral jewels.
Then home, where autumn fire warms us, and you read of what you hope and cherish. Our hands once more united, at rest upon our laps and silver moon shines bright upon the snow while softly plays, once more, our song.
I hope it will not be long, my love.
Yours, forever and always...
Whoever you prove to be.
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